I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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