Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
