I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
