We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize