So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
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You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
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But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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