Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
