Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
if only i could text you this smell
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
