Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize