Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
