So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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