There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you win again, gameday.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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