No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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