Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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