1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
