You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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