We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
