i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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