you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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