Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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