My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
