I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
