I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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