An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
