Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
