I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
