My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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