we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
