How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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