She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
