I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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