hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
