your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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