All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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