I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
