i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
