sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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