i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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