Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
