I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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