make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
