I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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