So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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