He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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