dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
