I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Someone signed my nipple.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
