If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Hippo gnu deer
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
