They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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