Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
