I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
