so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
