Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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