Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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