break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
