Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
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I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
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Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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