Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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