and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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