in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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