you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Randomize
